With November 15th fast approaching, Missourians have been stocking up on ammunition and automatic rifles to end the lives of as many woodland vermin as possible. What these avid huntsman may not be aware of is the upcoming ban on the hunting of deer in Missouri, thanks to local PETA activists. Springfield activists Martin Whittaker and Jean Simmons have been working for years to convince local legislators to pass a ban on the hunting of the Missouri deer population. Martin had this to say in our interview, "I've been a Missouri resident for over 34 years, and nothing has saddened my heart more than watching the local deer population be devastated by these barbarians." Simmons, also present for the interview, told us of her childhood memory in which she petted a local 10-point buck. "He was the friendliest creature I had ever seen." She informed us that moments after meeting the animal, a camo truck flew out from behind the trees and "curly haired teenagers" blew it apart with an RPG-7 rocket launcher.
We interviewed one local hunter from Buffalo Missouri, who says he's not putting up with the local ban. "I been huntin' a turdy-too point buck fer over f'teen years." Jeff Bobberson told us in a phone interview, "Buffalo is goin' to leave this her' nation, and we'll jus' be watin' fer 'em to come beggin' us back in." Jeff Boberson and his two sons, Billy Jefferson and Bob Billyson, wear and display nothing but Confederate flags to show their passion for hunting. The family explained to our news team that the banning of deer season would be the catalyst in "the South risin' again." Our interviewing equipment died shortly later, as the family had no electricity to recharge the batteries.
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